So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
