He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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