..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Nicole vs. Life
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
