Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
