wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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