the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
