WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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