My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
