Yo dont text me then not text me
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
