quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
