I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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