Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
