dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
