after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
