so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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