you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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