Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize