apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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