gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He did a backflip because drugs
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
