hell yes lets make some ravioli
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
