Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
