Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
