He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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