I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
