Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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