Well apparently he's into motor boating.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
