Do you still have your period?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
