I got chris browned last night
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
