my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
