Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just tell him i said nine months
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
