he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
