Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
