he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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