your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
