Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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