Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
