brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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