before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
do herpes really smell.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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