Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
