Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
