ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he puts the penis in happiness.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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