An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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