Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it's like iHOP with fire
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
