oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
