i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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