On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
