I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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