I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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