I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
