Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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