Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
