he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
